Thursday, January 17, 2008

Shiver me timbers!

NewFNP was a huge fan of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Not the one where the guy played the organ with his face tentacles and Johnny Depp was swallowed by a giant vagina, but the first in the trilogy in which a swashbuckling Johnny Depp was swarthy and sexy with his pirate eyeliner and his pirate shirt and his pirate vernacular. NewFNP, however, did not adopt the pirate fashion and make it her own.

Apparently, however, the new nutritionist at newFNP's clinic was so moved by pirate couture that she has incorporated it into her daily wardrobe.

When newFNP starts a new job, she wears some sensible yet flattering trousers and a cashmere sweater with some low heels or flats her first day. She's not all pearls and Lilly Pulitzer, but she tries to put together something smart.

What she does not wear is a wide teal stretchy headband with a high, loose, devil-may-care ponytail, a black sweater, teal herringbone trouser shorts and black lace-up knee high high-heeled boots. That is exactly what the new nutritionist was sporting during her meet and greet. She must have left her parrot and eye patch in the car.

NewFNP wonders how she will do her nutrition education. Will she be all: Arrrr! Me bonny lass - eat ye veggies or ye shall walk the plank. Will she advocate for Pirate's Booty over Hot Cheetos and, if so, is she part of some pirate mafia that gets a kick-back?

NewFNP is actually quite thankful to have the pirate nutritionist on board. Since the recent departure of our gaudily-dressed dentist, newFNP's clinic has been woefully lacking in fashion mishaps such as the camel toe and work no-no's such as the low-cut blouse/Wonderbra combo.

Looks like things are picking up! Arrrr!


CardinalPA-C said...

PLEASE keep updating us on this one!!

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