Tuesday, December 11, 2007

First base.

NewFNP found herself in something of a clinical pickle today. She has a patient for whom she has been caring for his diabetes for quite some time now. However, he had not been to clinic in over a year when newFNP happened to run into him last week as he was exiting his dental appointment.

"How are you?" he asked, in Spanish of course, as he gave newFNP a warm hug - a practice of several of newFNP's patients. "How was India? Are you married?"

"India was great," newFNP replied. "And I'm single."

He proceeded to tell newFNP how he was in the midst of a divorce and that he would take all of newFNP's worries away by making her his second wife. Nice gesture, but newFNP will decline with a wave of the hand and a shake of the head.

Fast forward two weeks and here this gentleman is in newFNP's exam room for diabetes care. He told newFNP that he and his wife were considering divorcing because he, at age 45, wants a child and she, at age 50, is unable to provide him with one. NewFNP noted to herself his mid-life crisis, practiced supportive listening and attempted to steer him back toward the safer ground of DM2.

He, however, was not to be swayed. We chatted a little more about decisions, how one never knows what life will hand them, blah blah blah. What is this, talk therapy? After some more chatting and a sprinkle of dietary education thrown in for good measure, newFNP stood up from her rolly stool and declared that it was time to go to the lab.

At this point her patient stood up, went to embrace her and kissed her. On the lips. No tongue, but still. He then invited newFNP to "have babies with him." He was joking, of course. Right? NewFNP blushed eight shades of red and told him to knock it off.

What a bummer. NewFNP used to look forward to her visits with this intelligent and, today notwithstanding, thoughtful patient. Now she needs to wear a teeth guard and perhaps some Mormon underwear before she enters the room.

Damn.

7 comments:

that big girl said...

Is it contraindicated to firmly place a knee against the scrotum of a patient with diabetes? What would the sequelae be?

Loving Pecola said...

OMFG.
See.
NO.

npsusan said...

Wow! Good thing that Mitt Romney is running for president, or I wouldn't know what Mormon underwear are! (there was an article about this in our paper this morning....do you vote on the basis of underwear??)

Anonymous said...

Ok, I give. What is Mormon underwear?

estlxlan said...

hahaha... interesting life of a new FP! =)

Anonymous said...

If you missed the Mitt Romney info, check out
http://www.mormon-underwear.com/

Anonymous said...

I wonder sometimes if this is another "practice issue" for NPs. Our caring holistic (you know - listening!) approach might invite a patient with either poor social cues or extreme lonliness to cross a line that he/she would never cross with an MD. This (not the kiss, but other "over the line behaviors") has happened to me with both male AND female patients, and I leave the room feeling like I didn't do my job,and I didn't do that patient justice if I somehow opened that door. Wow, the kiss though - I think your patient needs to either learn, be told, or threatened with the boundaries - another PCP (male!).