Monday, October 01, 2007

Full moon

NewFNP's clinic has rapid staff turnover. Now, there are some staff members who have been there for years and years, but it is not uncommon for people to not last through the 30-day probation period.

The most speedy exit came from an MA who just didn't show up to work her third day. No phone call, no 'nice to have known ya!' - she just didn't come back.

Then we had an LVN who single-handedly emotionally dismantled our MA staff by starting rumors and spreading gossip. He was let go after several wildly inappropriate comments in the presence of the interim COO after about two months of employment.

And finally, the current employee termination. Our most recently former LVN began working ten days ago. She was lazy, said 'shit' in front of a patient on one occasion and engaged in useless banter with the MA's. That kind of behavior, while bothersome to newFNP, does not get you fired from newFNP's clinic.

But do you know what will get you fired? Mooning three other staff members in the hallway during a busy clinic day.

A few years ago, newFNP and her girl gang were returning to our grad school's home town after having attending one of the most well-attended political marches in recent history. We were driving alongside a van caravan, each van filled with eight undergraduate-aged guys who appeared to be jocks. Four of the front man-van riders mooned the gents in the rear van. NewFNP's car honked and the guys were clearly embarrassed to have flashed five lovely ladies. But these are just the people who should be mooning - 19-year old guys.

Not a 30-something LVN. At work. When work is not a strip club. Sure, pink undies are nice but newFNP and her staff do not need to see them.

Don't let the door hit you on your currently covered ass on your way out!


Anonymous said...

Adds new meaning to having your ass on the line at work. I had the pleasure of firing an employee who had been on the job for 2 weeks. She left her "work" on her computer screen when she went to lunch. She was writing a porno novel, and we were at a major research university not in the adult entertainment industry. For months afterwards all one of us had to say was the name of the novel and the entire staff would crack up. "Full moon" might do it for your staff. Geez, what are these people thinking?

Barbara C. Phillips, NP said...

Good grief!

I've never even thought that someone would behave in such a way!

I'll try to remember full moon the next time I'm feeling someone what disgruntled about my inexperienced assistant. In fact...while she may be young and inexperienced, she comes to work every day with a smile! Obviously there are much worse things.