Feelin' good, feelin' *real* good

NewFNP's four-day wonder-weekend is winding down. Thus, newFNP forced herself to return to her normal Sunday routine of gym and a trip to the farmer's market.

While at the gym this morning, newFNP was perusing the current issue of The Journal of Family Practice and stumbled upon an article which sought to elucidate the role between marijuana use and the use of Viagra (sildenafil). Although the sample size was only 231 and was only selected from one outpatient practice in Brooklyn, fully 59% of the Viagra poppers did not have diagnosed ED. They were, in fact, recreational users of the little blue pill. Of this sample, 76% of them admitted to feeling a kinship to Snoop Dogg, not in relation to weapons charges or hos, but to loving themselves some weed. These stoners also noted that they sometimes procured their Viagra from "friends" or "street vendors." NewFNP is so worldly in some ways, yet so naive in others. She was just not aware that a market existed for this type of prescription drug.

Maybe A&E will do an "Intervention" about it. NewFNP imagines that the actual intervention would contain the plea, "Your ridiculously hard penis is ruining our relationshop! We never go out, we never invite friends over - we just sit around and smoke weed and have sex because of your crazy penis! I can't take it anymore and I will no longer enable you with my multiple orgasms!"

It is a stretch for newFNP to remember the days when marijuana played any role in her life, but it would have been when she was in high school and, frankly, newFNP is quite certain that - weed or no weed - teenagers are going to have sex. After they eat some Hostess and Taco Bell. Therefore, newFNP thinks that the population polled for this study is older, say in their 30's-50's, although age was not reported on.

NewFNP found the article amusing and appreciated that someone had to think of the research question in the first place. It really begs the question of the researcher, "What was that guy smoking?" Additionally, the article brought up the following questions for newFNP.

1) Who are these middle-aged guys who smoke weed? Do they still live in their parents' basement watching Soul Plane and playing air guitar, or are they just normal guys with girlfriends or boyfriends or wives and with careers and college educations? NewFNP hypothesizes the latter, but is willing to allow that the former do exist as well.

2) Where do these people buy their weed? NewFNP isn't all D.A.R.E. and Nancy Reagan, but she would be scared as shit to get busted. NewFNP will just stick to red wine. Unless you know anybody. Kidding - geez, calm down.

3) Are these guys popping Viagra because their libidos are diminished from the mary jane? Or are their libidos diminished by the paranoia that their special friends are in the DEA? Or because their ladies are all red-eyed and messed-up-haired with powdered sugar from the 6 Hostess Donette Gems she just consumed all over her t-shirt ? Or do these guys just want to experience more pleasure? Here is newFNP's null hypothesis: weed smoking = love of feeling good. Sex feels good. Maybe it just feels better when you're stoned and hopped up on Viagra.

4) Why do we still care if people smoke marijuana and why is it illegal? Just like the OGs say - regulate, motherfuckers, regulate. Don't drive stoned, don't get stoned while you're hanging out with your kids in the jumpy house at the neighbor kid's birthday party because, even though you'll really want to, you can't go in. Just think of the tax revenue we could create of we added a tax to your pack of joints? The schools would benefit! The food industry would certainly benefit. While we as a country, astoundingly, cannot seem to get behind gay marriage and tighter emissions standards, maybe we could all join hands, pass the duchey on the left hand side, and demand that we don't criminalize our weed smokin' fools!