Forgive the lapse into first person.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Truth be told, newFNP generally loves to be right. It's not her best personality trait, but it is what it is. She's working on it and nursing school certainly helps one learn how to say, "I was wrong."
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Would anyone believe newFNP if she were to tell you that the power went out yet again at clinic today? True story. Although to look at the patient population and to hear the language spoken, one might think that they had taken a wrong turn and ended up in - say - Mexico or Guatemala with their associated electricity issues. One would, however, be mistaken.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
NewFNP remembers her menarche all too well. She was preparing to go to swim team practice while spending the summer with her grandparents. Her coach, Aaron, was hot and newFNP was pretty heavily working a schoolgirl crush. NewFNP's mom had had "the talk" with her some years before so newFNP knew what was happening and she was none too pleased.
Monday, May 19, 2008
NewFNP has just returned from a glorious long weekend with her graduate school pals. She ate good food, hung out with her friend's kids - one of whom called her Frank Gehry fish necklace a 'banana phone', drank too much wine and shopped in a very hipster area of an across-the-county metropolitan area. It was a great weekend and newFNP misses her dear friends already, but it sure feels lovely to cross the threshold into one's own apartment.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
NewFNP really wanted to do primary care. She wanted to be out in the trenches, preventing diabetes and HIV and obesity and the like.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
NewFNP is at home, listening to Neil Diamond in honor of her mom, Nancy, who died twenty fucking years ago at the age of thirty-eight. She had a cerebral aneurysm. But that is the least interesting thing about her.
Friday, May 09, 2008
Just when newFNP was thinking that she was running out of stories to share, the elusive Ms. Cocoa Brown returned to the clinic!
NewFNP walked into clinic this morning with a spring in her step and noticed Cocoa's best friend sitting in the waiting room. She was not hard to miss, what with the 250-something pounds and the bright yellow sweater and shorts ensemble. It wasn't until she had almost entered the back office did she hear Ms. Cocoa Brown call her name.
"Hi newFNP!" she cheerily sing-songed. Now, newFNP has been trying to get in touch with her for months in order to follow up on that pesky syphilis. It's always, "Tomorrow - I'll be there tomorrow." Thus, newFNP gave Cocoa a look that said both "finally" and "where have you been?"
"Don't be mad," Cocoa told newFNP, "I've been in jail."
NewFNP can hardly think of a better excuse by which to deflect one's accountability for n0t making it to one's clinic appointments than that of incarceration. Apparently, the felony warrants and copious tickets were too heavy a burden for Cocoa and she turned herself in.
And now here she was, by her accounts sober except for the occasional Bartles & James wine cooler, which - in her estimation- have no alcohol.
While newFNP was addressing the need to re-check an RPR to monitor titres, she had her MA move Cocoa's hypertensive pal into another room to perform a screening EKG. A different MA tried unsuccessfully to draw Cocoa Brown's blood. NewFNP twice tried unsuccessfully to get blood from her tiny veins. A third MA took a break from setting up the EKG to give it a whirl, also to no avail.
Cocoa Brown graciously offered to return to the clinic for her venipuncture another day, but newFNP was having nothing of it. Yes, it is a torture, but frankly, obtaining that blood sample was a high priority. NewFNP sent her to hydrate and she opted to do so in the room where her buddy was having her EKG.
It was at this point that the power went out.
NewFNP's MA, Cocoa Brown and her half-naked 250-pound friend were all in the exam room, Cocoa Brown with her two glasses of water, her friend with her paper gown and EKG mid-way completed and newFNP's MA wondering what in the hell to do.
NewFNP's chronically late but exceptionally gifted MA/phlebotomist finally showed up. NewFNP sent her in with a flashlight and a butterfly to get the sample.
Success!! Winnie the Pooh sticker in hand, she left the clinic with instructions to return in two weeks. Anyone in a gambling mood?
NewFNP continued to see her patients, flashlight in hand, until about 2:30 PM when the power was restored. This is the second time in as many months that newFNP's clinic has had a power outage due to a downed power line. The first time they sent us home after several hours. This time we had flashlights. NewFNP hears that a generator is in the works which, of course, the clinic needs, but damn it if newFNP doesn't appreciate a little unexpected light day every once in a while.
Monday, May 05, 2008
NewFNP had completely anticipated a light clinic day today in honor of Cinco de Mayo. Not so, not so. Seventy patients in all, 2.5 providers.
Posted by newFNP at 6:12 PM
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Oh my God, did newFNP ever create one hell of a ruckus at clinic yesterday.