Thursday, March 06, 2008


School avoidance is a universal phenomenon.   Say, for instance, you are a student at a very fancy, very name-brand nursing school and you are about to graduate and you have a horrible coma-inducing class from 5-7 PM on Thursdays.  That situation is a perfect set-up for school avoidance!!  Not that newFNP ever found herself in such a situation - she's just sayin!

Another universal phenomenon is that pre-adolescents and adolescents are embarrassed by their parents.  One day, Madonna's kids will be embarrassed by her.  Brangelina's kids will lament their misfortune at having such uncool parents.  George Clooney may possibly escape this phenomenon, but as far as newFNP knows, he is sans progeny, so we will never know.

Well, one thing that might make a kid want to avoid school is if kids in your 7th grade class made fun of your mom.  And one thing that might make kids make fun of your mom is if she showed up to pick you up, was overweight, yet wearing a leopard print halter top showcasing striated bosoms, white denim Daisy Dukes and had an unfortunate home experiment with bleach technology - 4 to 6 weeks ago if newFNP correctly noted the root growth - thus rendering her hair a Tony the Tiger shade of orange.

NewFNP remembers feeling horrified that her mom had the lamest jeans.  And they were full length and she probably had a regular sweater or lady-blouse and some sweet baby-blue high-top Reeboks circa 1985 and had respectable highlights.  NewFNP's mom was known as a cool mom and newFNP still felt embarrassed by her.  

This poor little guy must have felt really bummed - newFNP can only imagine what those sharp-tongued little 13-year olds said to her patient.  

But what it is about a parent that makes her not intuitively get that dressing like a Kit Kat Club dancer is no way to roll when you're picking the kids up from school?  Or ever!  Just throw on some sweat pants and a smart cardigan before you roll up on the middle school, for Pete's sake.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

C'mon. Her wearing sweat pants and a smart cardigan will stop her kid getting picked on at school? The kids are the problem here. The mom's probably not clueless but just has a piss ant job, other kids, and no time or money to get her hair fixed. (Don't worry - she knows she doesn't look good - she gets that message every day. And it isn't the first time the kid has gotten the message about the mom, either.) It may be no solace to your adolescent patient for years to come, and maybe not even then, but she's got a mom who is making an effort to be there. If only all kids were so lucky.