Tuesday, March 06, 2007

NewFNP felt like a rock star today, returning to the clinic. The floors were waxed, the staff gave newFNP hugs. NewFNP had to wonder if she found her way into the wrong clinic!

Ah, but then newFNP saw that the C.O.O. had scheduled her to work two six-day workweeks and she knew that she was, in fact, in the right clinic after all. That fucker.

And - just like that - newFNP was back at it.

After a year and a half in practice, newFNP finds that she is less and less frequently surprised by her clinical encounters. Today, however, was an exception.

It is no surprise that a woman who has had one lifetime pap twelve years ago would feel apprehensive about assuming the position. It is also no surprise that said woman would adopt that "straight leg, buns firmly planted halfway up the exam table" position when readying herself for the pap. In newFNP's practice, it is a little surprising to see a 32-year old woman with only one child (although actively trying for more since her first birth), but not so surprising as to merit a second thought during the patient's first visit on a busy clinical day.

What is surprising is to get the speculum placed and see an IUD string protruding from the os when the patient is quite clear that her birth control method is "condoms sometimes." When newFNP questioned her patient about the IUD, the patient stated that she had received the IUD after the birth of her 12-year old son, but was told that she had expelled it when she went for her one-month check up after insertion. Surprise! The 12-year old IUD is still contracepting! Well, it was until newFNP yanked that MF-er out.

What is even more surprising about this encounter is that less than 24 hours prior to experiencing it, newFNP received an e-mail from a friend from graduate school stating that she had the exact same experience. WTF! NewFNP knew that clinic encounters came in waves, but she didn't know that these waves cross county lines! What a phenomenon!

1 comment:

that big girl said...

newFNP, you are a rock star. I love your writing; it reminds me a lot of my dad, who swore he was not a wordsmith, but would spend hours on perfecting a letter to the editor. Never failed to make me laugh out loud!