Friday, May 05, 2006

Parenting 101

A little about me. NewFNP is not a parent. However, newFNP knows crappy parenting when she is beaten over the head with it.

Take for instance the mother and daughter pregnancy test walk-ins this week. Mom in her late 30's, daughter in her late teens. Mom's test negative, daughter's test positive. Mom relieved yet concerned about having had two menstrual periods the previous month. Daughter devastated, crying, fallen, crushed.

Mom wrapped her arm around her daugher's shoulders and told newFNP that her daugher had been raped in February. NewFNP inquired as to post-sexual assault care. She had none. No health care, no police report. No menstrual period for two months. No knowledge of whether she had been infected with an STI. No counseling.

Mom repeated over and over to the daughter, "It's OK, it's OK." OK? Fourteen weeks pregnant as a result of a rape is OK? No, not OK. Pretty fucking far from OK.

After a 20-second series of "it's OKs," mom turned her attention back toward herself and inquired as to her irregular periods. NewFNP said something polite but dismissive in order to re-direct the conversation to the daughter. Mom played along, but would not be deterred from receiving the answer to her relatively pedestrian query. NewFNP encouraged her to follow-up with an appointment. What newFNP wanted to tell her was to drop it and to focus her attention on the needs of her re-traumatized daughter.

Is newFNP out of her tree or is there a time during which you let your needs fall aside in order to deal with a crisis? Isn't that part of being a parent? That's part of the reason why newFNP is sans child - still selfish, this newFNP! Still putting her needs first.

Speaking of, J. Crew has some cute frigging spring flats. Perfect with smart trousers for clinic-wear!


Nurse Practitioners Save Lives said...

How horrible for the girl.. As a survivor of rape, I can empathize.. I hope she gets counseling..

Anonymous said...

WOW! Unreal, I don't know how I would have reacted in your shoes (even in cute J Crew flats ;-) Unbelievable.