Tuesday, December 27, 2005

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie.....

I'm sure that if there is one question on the minds of newFNP's readers, it is this:

What the hell is up with the coke nail?

You all know what I mean, right? It's the nasty-ass long pinkie nail that men sport. I have yet to see a lady rocking the coke nail. Aside from the male gender prevalence, these are the other demographic details I have amassed.

1) Men of all ages feel it is appropriate to advertise their love of the cocaine via a long manicured pinkie nail.
2) Men of varying cultural backgrounds find common ground in the coke nail. Does newFNP sense an opportunity for coalition building amongst cokeheads? The Million Pinkie Coke Nail March? Better wear protective eyewear!

NewFNP will take this opportunity to judge the pinkie nail. Judgement: foul. People need to head to the cokehead nail salon and chop off that disgusting talon. Ugh. Just seeing it grosses me out.

If anyone has insight into the coke nail phenomenon, please e-mail me at newfnp@gmail.com. I must gain understanding into this disturbing and widespread occurrence. Is there an alternative explanation? Is it just to clean one's ears?

Help me understand this frightening trend. I beg of you, help.


Anonymous said...

Gross and ditto gross. Maybe useful for nose cleaning, letter opening,hair parting, and could you use it as a screwdriver in a pinch? I agree it's disgusting. Did I say I think it's gross too?

Anonymous said...

This is obviously a West Coast phenomenon... ick. I have never seen a coke nail. But I did see a good ole Boston mix of trich and sperm on the same slide. That's how we roll out here, yo.

Anonymous said...

Oh, no. No, no, no. The coke nail was popular in Chicago in the 80s; please don't tell me it's made a comeback. Of course, even more disgustingly, nowadays it's more likely to be a meth-nail. So very ghetto and wrong. Coke nails are the mullet of American drug culture.

Anonymous said...

Men in Asia all sport this...not using it for coke, but for things like nose picking and and scratching itches. Its cultural I guess.