This just in....

There are few things that newFNP likes to ponder less than pelvic floor disorders and urinary incontinence. I was, however, at a conference recently and found myself desperately and vigorously performing Kegel after Kegel in order to stave off a sad, sad future. In fact, I'm doing my Kegels now and you should be too. We should all have the lactic acid build-up normally associated with leg presses, 10-mile runs and push-ups. Because, baby, I do not want my uterus heading south for the winter. Nor am I relishing the thought a future with rubber mattress pads.

The reason I am exercising my vagina 100 times more than my abs or glutes is that the keynote speaker at the conference presented data from the WHI that stated that a full forty-frigging-one percent of women had some form of prolapse. Hey, maybe your bladder is just sneaking posteriorly into your vag, but maybe your cervix is at your knees. I don't want either. Kegel, Kegel, Kegel... feel the burn.

Sure, childbirth makes a difference in the likelihood of anatomical slippage, but guess what? It's the first kid that makes the most difference and, I hate to say it, but nulliparous women may share the prolapse experience with their more fertile sisters. Thinking of scheduling a c-section like your gal-pal Britney S.? Well, that's not gonna save you either. So go ahead and have your babies in whichever way you choose, but Kegel it up, ladies. And do your best to lose the pregnancy weight, because overweight (waist circumference >88cm) isn't going to help matters.

The same goes for incontinence. Parity, obesity, hysterectomy... they all will have you running to bathroom, stifling your laughs and hoping that your little cough goes away quickly. Apparently, 50% of us will have incontinence. Son of a bitch, does that ever suck. Kegels. 30-35 exercises per day. I don't want vaginal hypertrophy, but I'm thinking the more, the merrier when it comes to incontinence prevention.

Diabetes also plays a role in incontinence due to the nerve damage. So, let's see what sucks about uncontrolled diabetes. It's not the death so much, in my opinion, as all the horrible effects of the disease. Blindness, kidney dysfunction, erectile dysfunction, amputations, thick toenails, heart disease and incontinence. None of those are my idea of a good time.

In other news, updated CDC guidlelines, due to come out next year, state that we should no longer be prescribing 2g of Flagyl PO for BV. It's just not efficacious. It's all about the 500mg PO BID x 7, 5 nights of Metro-Gel or 7 nights of Clindamycin cream. So give your ladies a break and treat their BV effectively, OK?