May-December

In the spirit of "Shopgirl," in which a fresh, vibrant Claire Danes dates a geriatric Steve Martin, I offer this thought. It's not only the aging Hollywood set who enjoy a youthful romp with a partner half their age. Not at all. This week, a 76-year old patient told me that he had 10 children, the youngest of whom was an astonishing 5 years old. A quick mathematical calculation told me that his wife must not be his age. Yes, my patient's first wife died when she was 70. I don't think that the mourning period was a long one before he nabbed his currently 38-year old wife.

When I think of dating someone nearly 40 years my senior, I think of one thing and one thing only: money. Now, I could be wrong, but my sense is that this 38-year old woman is not rolling in an A8, nor is she sporting a Harry Winston, nor is she head to toe in D&G. But even if the hottest rich 70-year old in the world wanted to date me, he would still be 70. Whatever works for my patients is cool with me, but I am, quite frankly, grossed out by the thought of shagging a grandpa. Do you think she has to inject his hips with cortisone so that he can lay the sweet moves on her?

Guh-ross.