My worst nightmare

When new FNP considered what she least wanted to see in clinical practice, it was this: dizziness ("mareos") in Spanish. Dizziness throws me off in any language. English, Pakistani, Hebrew? It all sounds the same to me when the subject is dizziness. I realized that this was my nightmare a couple of months ago when an FNP friend told me that she conducted the Dix-Hallpike test on a Spanish-speaking patient during a blackout. I thought to myself, "What the fuck?!?!" Thankfully, the lights were on today, but nobody was home in my pea brain. We got it all figured out, but man, oh man do I ever hate vertigo.

On the STI front, I saw yet another infection today. So far, STIs to date include herpes, PID and - today's entree - warts. Yesterday, another provider had a patient with gonorrhea AND high-risk HPV. Every person who I have encountered who was diagnosed with an STI had a partner with whom they were believed to be monogamous. Now, new FNP is a single lady and has, in her day, made some very unfortunate decisions regarding dating. Am I naive to think that they were just assholes and not big fat cheaters as well? I know that I haven't dated my Mark Darcy, but I hope that I haven't dated only Daniel Cleavers.

A common complaint in my clinic is "bone pain." It generally refers to whole body aching. I am a believer that mental/emotional stress has physical consequences and suspect the poverty and its associated difficulties play a role in my patients having this pain. However, it takes time to elicit the important social factors in people's lives. Today I saw a woman with the bone pain and she had nothing, nothing, nothing wrong with her on exam. I was already frustrated when I walked into her room and even more so when I saw her chief complaint. I do appreciate how badly that sounds, but new FNP has her good days and her bad days, OK? I suspected depression initially, but didn't feel like jumping to that conclusion without sussing out the physical complaint. Well, I felt like an ever bigger shit when I realized the extent of her depression. "Hi, I'm new FNP and I'm a completely insensitive prick."

It's good that new FNP is visiting some of her best friends this weekend. I need a break. And a glass (bottle, fridge-full) of wine. And someone to kiss, but not a Daniel Cleaver.