Triplets

When newFNP was in school, she did a pediatric rotation at a community health clinic which conducted "double" physicals when there were 2 kids in a family who needed care. One such visit was with identical 11-year old twins who also had similar names. And dressed semi-alike. One had a heart murmur that she picked up on exam. She knew which kid it was because she had written what each kid was wearing on their respective encounter forms. These kids looked cloned, they were so similar in appearance. That, friends, was frigging junior varsity. Today, newFNP had 4-year old triplets. Again with the cloned appearance. One with asthma and borderline anemia, another with a high lead because of the chili candies he likes and the other - shit - she can't even remember the other. It sounded like Romper Room in the exam room. All of the kids were small, likely as a result of their prematurity. This encounter showed newFNP that she does not know how to write a prescription for Flovent. She knows it's shameful but, amazingly, she never managed childhood asthma while in school. So tonight, she sits here with Nelson's Rediatrics open to page 768, reviewing asthma. Thankfully, she still has no furniture, TV, microwave, toaster, desk, etc - thanks to Atlas "moving" company - so she has nothing better to do. And, of course, newFNP takes her job seriously.

Also, the depressed patient. We've all had them. They want to talk. They have so much going on and newFNP does want to help them, but in the back of her mind during an encounter today, newFNP kept thinking that she had to get out of that room because there were tons of other patients waiting. It sucks. Every time you think you've managed to acknowledge their concerns, in Spanish, they have another. NewFNP is sorry, but she cannot do the counseling. None of the providers really can, yet the patients look to us for support. We are fortunate enough to have a social worker in our clinic, but that didn't get me out of the room in less than 45 minutes. Oops.

NewFNP saw a ton today. A fucking ton. And it was only in 9 patients. The M.D. in my clinic said to me as we were closing up shop, "This would have been a normal day for one provider." While newFNP knows that to be true, there is no way in fucking hell that she could have seen many more patients than she did today. And she feels so guilty whenever she have a question for the other providers. None guilty enough not to ask, but you know... newFNP still has so, so, so, so much to learn.