Saturday, November 14, 2009

Choice

NewFNP doesn't need to be convinced of anyone's reasons for seeking abortion - she has been pro-choice for as long as she knew that the issue existed.


But when newFNP met a young woman in clinic this week, she thought to herself, "Now this is a person who should have an abortion." This young woman is 20-years old. She was pregnant for the ninth time and did not care. According to her, she has had seven miscarriages - some of them provoked but she declined to elaborate further. She is bipolar and unmedicated. She is homeless. The father of this baby is incarcerated. She smokes one pack of cigarettes daily. Until a few weeks ago, she regularly used methamphetamine. She was carrying a prescription for Haldol due to her recent suicide attempt.

The one child who she carried to term is in foster care. She opted for foster care rather than adoption because - in her words - adoptive families get too close to the kid. Yeah, newFNP is pretty sure that that is the point of adoption.

So -- chronically homeless and chronically mentally ill. Polysubstance use. In the best of circumstances, a new baby is challenging. This young woman was not experiencing the best of circumstances.

NewFNP hopes that the foster care system in which her six-month old child is placed finds this baby a loving adoptive family who will raise her with love and assuage the effects of the tumultuous pregnancy and the family history of mental illness and drug addiction.

And she hopes that this mom will terminate this pregnancy and will seek birth control services, mental health services, substance abuse treatment and housing. Maybe one day she will be able to care for herself and a pregnancy. But this is not that day.

And it's not newFNP's choice.

9 comments:

Dave said...

Awesome.
Asa fellow blogger wanted to tell you.
Dave

Cassie said...

A friend and fellow FNP classmate sent me your blog. I work in family planning as an RN and am studying to be an FNP. I get it. Those who choose to continue a pregnancy are often the most draining and make up some of the hardest days. You deserve a strong drink.

SMT said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Barbara said...

Yes, this mom is mentally ill, drug addicted and poor, but the baby is still a life and deserves a life. I adopted a baby like this and he presents me with daily challenges filled with rage, destruction of property, verbal assault AND times of tenderness and good choices. He is Gods gift to me and he makes me a better person and a better psych nurse.

We are polar opposites on politis but I like your blog and learn from your experiences,

Abundant B'earth said...

Thank you for being outspoken and standing in your truth.

Anonymous said...

I am not a for abortions however I respect the opinions of others. I guess I look at this case as to the mental health system failing this individual...and where is her support system...her family. Obviously she has had help for all of these. I work in a psychiatric VA facility ...and see both males and females ....Most of these individuals have been throught the privat mental health systme and it has failed them...something else for health care reform to think about

Barbara said...

Dear Anonymous,
With respect, I have to disagree with the thought that you are personally against abortion but you respect the opinions of others. Some issues deserve a moral stand. Can I say I disagree with incest by I respect the opinions of others or I disagree with stealing but I respect....
do you see what I mean.
I believe that if we truly respect women we help them if they are having an unwanted pregnancy and allow the child to be born. Then mom can decide what is best for her and she won't suffer the forever guilt that most women do after an abortion. I just want all life valued; even when inconvenient.

Anonymous said...

Dear Barbara
if you respect life then you wouldn't kill a life for a another individuals inconvenience...there are other options to abortions...like adoption...many people can't have children and would die to adopt any one of the million babies killed annually by abortion....

Barbara said...

Both of my children are adopted.