Monday, April 06, 2009

Fashion disaster

NewFNP long ago gave up her white coat.  Too stuffy.  Too many cheaply sewn buttons falling off and too little desire to mend.  Too much unflattering hip-spread look.  Plus, it spent quite a while in the cargo area cum unwanted goods graveyard of her car and newFNP kind of just forgot about it.  She now just rocks whatever outfit she's rocking that day and, for the most part, it's all good.

Imagine, then, newFNP's chagrin when she finished a pelvic exam and noticed that her right sleeve felt a little heavy as she exited the room.

She glanced down and noted a big glob of speculum jelly adorning the sleeve of her crisp celery-colored J. Crew cashmere sweater.

Son.  Of.  A.  Bitch.

Quickly and with a slight shudder, newFNP shut down the horrifying thoughts racing through her mind and told herself, again and again, that the speculum jelly now seeping through the soft cashmere yarn and quite possibly tickling her silky smooth wrist skin was, in fact, sterile.  It was leftover jelly from the tray which newFNP uses to lubricate the speculum, not jelly from the used speculum itself.  

It was from the tray.  It was tray jelly.  Not speculum jelly.  Tray jelly.

No matter the source, newFNP was none too keen on having jelly on her cashmere.  She washed it off, scrubbed off her wrist and - with it - her morning dab Fresh 'Sugar' fragrance, rolled up her sleeves and went about her day.  



T Rex Mom said...

Any kind of jelly is a fashion faux paux - especially on cashmere!

LilSass said...

hahaha!! I'm starting my BSN/NP program in June. Woohooo!!! I love the white coat for this very reason. Not to mention I always need to carry 438 things in my pockets.

Lube on your cashmere. Hahaha

Anonymous said...

The day I became a white-coat believer was the day I walked into the room to find the patient sitting bare-assed on the chair, genital warts and all. Who knows what they're doing on my rolly-stool when I'm not in the room? There needs to be something between my pants and the STD du jour, even if it is just a thin white coat!