Monday, August 11, 2008
There are maybe two cell-phone conversations which newFNP would like to overhear.
One goes like this, "Hey Brad Pitt, this is George Clooney calling. I am absolutely awestruck by the beauty and witty repartee that I have been enjoying with this lovely NP sitting in front of me. I do believe that I shall fly her to Lake Como on my private jet and bed her."
The other may be something along the lines of, "What - they are giving away free flattering Theory trousers and cashmere sweaters at Bloomingdales at exactly 5:00 today?!?!"
What newFNP does not want to hear is your bullshit whatever conversation while she is attempting to get a health history on your two-year old kid during his physical exam appointment.
Can you hear newFNP now? Hang up your goddamn phone!!!
For a solitary in-exam-room-phone-pick-up that is quickly ended with the words, "I can't talk now -- the newFNP is in the room," newFNP grants you a pass, but is nonetheless displeased.
After the second, third and fourth times, newFNP believes you to be unacceptably disrespectful. During the fourth call, as the patient's mother was repeating an 800-number and credit-card number to the woman on the other end of her phone, newFNP exited the room, stating that she would return when the mother was more ready for the exam. As she opened the door to leave, she overheard the mother stating, "Look - you made the newFNP leave" to the person on the other end.
Come again? The woman who called - not knowing that the mother of the patient was in the exam room - bears responsibility? No, ma'am.
Sorry, sister, but one is not obligated to pick up the stupid phone while the provider is in the exam room. In fact, one should be obligated to put the damn thing on vibrate or turn the fucking thing off after the first time it disrupts the clinic visit.
For the love of all that is holy, how do people not know this?