Friday, July 20, 2007

And a-one and a-two

Everyone has euphemisms for the act of defecation as well as the product, do they not? BM. Dropping the kids at the pool. Poop. Number two. Around newFNP's house, the act is called going to London and the product is London. Don't ask, as the terms were not invented by newFNP herself. She is certain, however, that their origins are not Anglophobic in nature.

NewFNP thought that she had heard all of the shit-slang until a nine-year old boy enlightened her. He was in for diarrhea so newFNP was asking all the usual questions. Vomiting as well or not so much? Watery or some formed stool? How many times a day? Fever/chills? Foreign travel? Food-borne illness, perchance?

And finally, newFNP asked the kid whether he had gone to the bathroom that day? He replied in the affirmative. "Number one or number two," newFNP asked.

"Number three," he replied.

NewFNP is thirty-three years old, has nine years of higher education, and she never, ever knew that a term existed for diarrhea. They just don't teach that kind of shit in the Ivies. Ivory Tower indeed!

Number three. Awesome.


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1 comment:

DamselFish said...

My nephew calls vomiting "volcanoing". It is now a term of art.