Saturday, July 29, 2006

Fine art

NewFNP has no personal opposition to tattoos. In fact, she must admit to having had a certain attraction to some tattooed gentlemen now and again. In fact, it has been rare - if ever - that newFNP has felt morally and personally offended by a tattoo. NewFNP supposes that there is a first time for everything afterall.

While conducting a physical exam, newFNP noticed that her patient had half of a buxom naked lady peeking out from under his mid-calf-high gym socks. Not only was this lady stacked, she was also sitting with her legs widely spread, knees bent. Although her nether regions were covered by the gym sock, newFNP had a guess as to what was hidden beneath. Well, in case newFNP was wrong in her assumption, when she walked around to the patient's side, she got a glimpse of something she had never imagined anyone - save for disgusting perverts - would want eternally portrayed on their external calf.

NewFNP must confess that the artist was clearly a student of the female external genital anatomy. Professional or lay, this tattoo artist knew his stuff. NewFNP can't be certain, but she thinks that she saw a Skene's gland. In any case, is it necessary or even desirable to have a 7-inch tall tattoo of a naked and anatomically accurate lady in the doggy-style position, fingering herself , and glancing longingly over her shoulder? NewFNP thinks decidedly not.

NewFNP has thought about this a lot - not the tattoo, per se, but her reaction to it. A) NewFNP felt offended. Period. B) NewFNP did not want to continue to provide much care to this individual who clearly has low regard for women. C) NewFNP felt sorry for this person's daughter.

Maybe newFNP should have suggested tattooing underpants on the lady. Or maybe she could have just said, "Oh - I see you have a fucking repulsive tattoo. Do you have a difficult time getting laid?" But she didn't. She just did a quick exam and moved on to the next 50 million patients that day.



Anonymous said...

I felt repulsed just READING your post, let alone actually SEEING it...gross is an understatement!

jen said...

lmfao, tats and piercings rock....... i can't imagine seeing that in an exam though.

i'm sure you did the "nurse thing" and held back, and i'm utterly proud of you for doing so.

(i had my pelvis xrayed, and a male NP read it, was i bad for leaving my "piercing" in place?")

tattooed men totally rock!!!

Anonymous said...

I once had to start an IV on a tattooed man. The only good vein he had was on his forearm-right between the naked lady's legs and up into her. I found the vein, and prayed that there was another good one, but that was it! And he knew it as he said to me "go ahead, stick it right between 'er legs honey"! Ugh, talk about disgusted!

Witsie42 said...

Art indeed. I have a challenge for you. If I had a white glove, it would have just danced across your cheek.