You never forget your first

It's true for any number of experiences. First kiss, first love, first bad grade (not that newFNP would know anything about that), first abscess I & D. Now, let me go on the record as having stated that newFNP likes gross stuff. But what newFNP does not like are gross smells. Seriously. NewFNP has never eaten ketchup because she is repulsed by its aroma.

Here is the sequence of events:

12:30 patient: mucopurulent cervicitis
12:45: lunch
1:15 patient: abscess

The smell. Holy shit, the smell. First of all, it was an ass abscess. Top of the rump, right gluteal fold. Second of all, there were 5 of us in the small MF-ing exam room. Me, the patient, her sister, the super-MD I work with, and my favorite MA who lives for nasty procedures. Again, the room is small. The room was also hot. And did I mention the stench of the abscess? Can you see where this combination of forces leads?

So, prep, anesthetize, cut, express, express, express, express, express (you get the idea), whiff, feel faint, get hot and clammy, realize you are about to hit the deck, call for back-up, sit, regain composure, express, pack, cover. Try to get the smell out of your memory. Try harder. Keep trying. Visualize the relative beauty of the cervicitis. Thank the heavens for bullshit URI appointments.

And a tip: for those who are also new to abscesses, my MD told me that the pH of the pus weakens the effect of the lido so numb 'em up somethin' good! Happy draining!