Out of the mouths of babes

NewFNP has fallen in love with the well child visit. Yes, it's true that sometimes the 13-year old well child weighs more than newFNP. Thankfully, those visits are rare enough. But for the most part, well child visits afford newFNP a break from diabetes and BMIs of 45. NewFNP likes all kinds of well child visits now, but has always held a soft spot for teenagers. Especially ones that ask funny questions.

So, all in all, an average 14-year old male well exam. Thin, plays field hockey (quite unusual in my inner city area), respectful, has all parts intact and has no inguinal hernia. Testicular torsion education - done. Safer sex/abstinence education - done. Repeated denials of current or prior sexual activity - accepted by newFNP.

As always, when about to exit the room, newFNP asked, "Do you have any questions?"

"Yeah, I have a question," he replied. "Is it bad to masturbate?"

The way he asked was so sincere. I set the chart on the counter, faced him squarely and said, "No, it's not bad. Everybody does it. Just don't get caught."

He was visibly relieved. Whacky kids!