Tuesday, May 14, 2013


Nearly eight years ago, newFNP sat down and started this blog on the day that she started her NP career at her insane free health clinic.

Cocoa Brown.  Getting hit in the face by a patient.  Getting hit in the face by cervical mucus.  Crazy tattoos such that newFNP and Dr. Dual Ivy League Degrees, herself already moved on, had a running list of them.

All kinds of good times.  And all kinds of frustration and tears and wondering why in the hell newFNP didn't just use those GRE scores for something - well - easier.

NewFNP will walk through the doors of that clinic for the last time tomorrow.

As readers may recall, newFNP loves her some Continuing Medical Edu-vacation.  Last month, being that newFNP is a something of a baller, she took that shit to Maui, motherfuckers!  She was expecting R&R and tan lines and piña coladas for days, which she got, but she was not expecting the kind of universe smacking her in the face that she got.

As she was checking into her hotel, newFNP happened to ask the overweight, middle aged white hotel manager how he - distinctly not a native Hawaiian man - made it to Maui.

"Come talk to me after you check in," he said, "and I'll tell you."

NewFNP and one of her besties, Dr. Gompy, checked in and stepped a few feet away from the front desk and listened as the hotel manager, Frank, told us a story that was meant for newFNP to hear at exactly that time.

After 15 years in the Marines, Frank became a New York City cop.  His brother was a New York City firefighter.  When Frank had been on the force only a few short months, his brother decided to marry his fiancé in Maui.  Being as this was back in the day, there was no direct flight from LA to Maui so Frank had to haul his ass from NYC to LA to Honolulu to Maui, a twelve hour endeavor.  Given that he had no seniority, he had to turn around and repeat that buster ass itinerary in the opposite direction three days later.

Every year thereafter, Frank's brother and sister-in-law would return to Maui to celebrate their anniversary.  Frank, with only memories of that flight, thought that this was an altogether crappy plan.  His brother tried to explain that Maui was where he and his wife connected, where they could leave financial worries and bickering and children behind and just be together.  It was a magical place, he told Frank.

Frank's brother died while rescuing people from the Twin Towers on 9/11.

As Frank told newFNP, "We took what we could gather of his ashes back to Maui."  In Maui with his family, Frank was met with respect and kindness and love although he had not been back to Maui since his brother's wedding.  Representatives from the Maui Police and Fire Departments escorted him around the island.  He met a woman who placed a crown of flowers on his head and told him, "Thank you for your family's sacrifice so that my family can live in freedom here in paradise."  He knew then that he was leaving Brooklyn.

He returned to New York, settled his early retirement up with the NYPD and a little help from Mayor Guliani and moved to Maui.  "Back in Brooklyn, I wouldn't have even talked to you," he told newFNP (which she kind of doubted because she has been going to a shit ton of spin classes and has awesome highlights and big knockers and looks kind of hot, but whatever.  That's not the point.)  "I chose a lifestyle," he said.

Tears streaming down her face, it was at this point that newFNP knew that she was resigning.  You see, newFNP was promoted to a director position about a year ago and has been pretty fucking unhappy ever since.  Not that she was entirely happy before but there is nothing like a completely unrealistic workload and a lack of support and teamwork that will make work turn to shit faster than newFNP can pick out a super-soft cashmere sweater at J. Crew.

She came home, made a phone call and accepted a job offer the next day.  After the last eighteen months of acupuncture and therapeutic shopping and Prosecco bottle popping and knowing she should leave but not knowing how she would afford the pay cut, newFNP just decided to jump off that cliff and be happier.  Happier working four days per week instead of six or, on a bad week, seven.  Happier knowing that her new free clinic has more integrity in its management.  Happier knowing that patient care is where her strength is and from where she gets her reward.  Happier knowing that she has just decided to listen to her heart and to not ignore the message that the universe had put in front of her in the shape of a chubby white dude with a poignant story.

While newFNP will desperately miss many of the people at her clinic, to the clinic itself, newFNP's general feeling is this: va fa un culo, San Giovanni!!  NewFNP is moving the hell on.

Thank you, Frank.  Thanks to you, newFNP is choosing a lifestyle.


PediNP said...

So you aren't leaving the profession, just trading up for a better setting! Good for you! You are my hero!

Anonymous said...

NewFNP--re-visited this blog 2 years and a week later than the last visit to enjoy some of your old posts. Was so glad to see that you're still being awesome (not that I had any doubt) and recently left a post about it too!
A Happy Belated Nurses' Week to you!

T Rex Mom said...

Glad to see a posting from you two years later. Would love to hear more. I am just wrapping up my first year as a new FNP. Does one ever not feel new?

Best luck in your new endeavors.

Anonymous said...

I hope this post means you are back and will be blogging again!!

Shelly said...

I hope yu will start writing again! I was supposed to start FNP school last August, but I got sidetracked by a brain tumor (just my luck). But, I am starting in August and I already work (and helped start) a free clinic for uninsured and underinsured drug addicts. I loved reading your entries.

Candi said...

SOOOOOO happy to hear from you. You were one of the biggest influences when I first started nursing school in January of 2011. I knew from the beginning that I wanted to be a NP & your blog was such a wealth of info. I hope beyond hope that you will blog again about your job, life, whatever. I love this post b/c it serves as a reminder that when I started this journey it was to have a career that supplemented my life and NOT the other way around & sometimes I have to remind myself of that. Hopefully we'll hear more from you soon, you know you can just change the name of your blog ;)

Anonymous said...

Finishing up my FNP degree and was inspired to come revisit this blog that inspired me to fully commit to pursuing this career path. Congratulations and thank you for the inspiration!

Anonymous said...

Dear Lord! Finally the blog I have been looking for and it appears that you have run off to paradise and abandoned it!! I have been an ANP for over 3 years now and have been absolutely miserable. Spent all this time thinking it was just me-that I can't handle seeing 20 very ill rehab patients in a day beginning at 7 am and finishing charting by 10:30pm EVERYDAY. Not to mention crazy, obnoxious family members, inappropriate patients and a boss who continually talks "revenue". Why did I go back to school and spend $40,000 for a mere $6,000/year salary increase with shitty insurance benefits only to work twice as hard. Yeah I used to be hot too but I had to give up my regular workouts for the little sleep I get and I think I have aged 15 years in mere months which at the moment botox is not even helping. When I share stories with friends they say "you dug shit out of someones ass and you still can't buy yourself that hot orange Free People motorcycle jacket? It would be worth it if I could continue my shopping sprees at Nordstrom and Neimans. There is not a day that goes by that I don't want to poke my eye out. Just want to know if it gets any better anywhere????

indeazgirl said...

I went the WHNP route, and I have to say I do love my job, so yes, in some places, it is very good (I'm in AZ).
NEWFNP- so glad to catch up quick. Nice job on the spinning classes and even nicer job on moving back to where you'll make a difference. (If you ever want a guest blogger here, let me know. I've got some stories :-) )!!! I wish you all the best.

Anonymous said...

I am a new FNP that works at a FQHC. You have been my inspiration! Thank you for sharing your world with us. This blog is truly a gift that keeps on giving. I hope that you will continue updates. You are making a bigger difference than you realize. I share this blog with all of my new FNP friends! Please don't go!!!

mynaps01 said...

I was so happy to see this post. I often wondered how things were going with you. I have only 2 more semesters of school left. I revisit your old post on my school breaks for insight and laughter. Congratulations! and as we say in my hood...YOLO! (you only live once), so enjoy! :O)

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ANursingStudent said...

Hi NewFNP! I was just showing your blog to someone else when I came across your update! Thank you for keeping us in the blogosphere updated! I hope and know everything will work out for you on your quest to balance your life. BTDT and trying to get back to place like that in my life!

Anonymous said...

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Cheers! :)

Laurie Anderson said...

Hi, I have missed you and wandered here randomly tonight as I went through blog links I have stored. What's interesting to me is that I just finished an online application for an NP position which will totally improve my quality of life after 7 years in crazy, long-shift emergency medicine. I think there are no coincidences in life and this is one more example of that. I hope you are well and happy in the new position and I hope you'll pop in soon and give us an update! Kind regards, Laurie

Dave Mittman, PA said...

Hey-Are you still around. I too have missed "NewFNP" very much. She was the kind of NP this PA would still have liked to meet and talk politics with.
So if you are around, let us all know.
Dave Mittman, PA. DFAAPA

Anonymous said...

If you're looking for a NP Forum to chat on sometime, please check out the new professional nurse practitioner forum at www.npforum.net

StudentFNP said...

Love this blog. I found it a few years ago before I decided to apply to NP school and now that I'm in NP school, I love revisiting your posts. I've also been inspired to document my own journey to become a FNP. Thanks for leaving this blog up! :)

Carolina Partners in Mental HealthCare said...

I am working with a company in North Carolina that is looking for Nurse Practitioners, preferably Psych, to move into the area and work for them. The company is called Carolina Partners in Mental Healthcare. It might or might not be a less stressful place to be. www.carolinapartners.com

Anonymous said...

You are my hero, too. Please please befriend me on facebook "thuha trx". Thank you.

Aaron Grey said...

Hi, Nice site I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing. Would it be possible if I contact you through your email? Please email me back. Thanks!

Aaron Grey
aarongrey112 at gmail.com

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Taha Hammad said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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Anonymous said...

Good. Bye. Learn to write please

Dayna Long said...

Love reading about your adventures. I'm a very new FNP, working at an inner city FQHC in Chicago. I've only been out of school for a year and am struggling! Your blog helps me tremendously. Thanks for sharing your stories.

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