You're either in... or you're out!

NewFNP does not love to start her day with a veterinary emergency. Three hundred dollars later, her dog is on the mend and stoned on muscle relaxants. NewFNP needs a more affordable vet.

She furthermore does not enjoy it when she leaves her convalescing dog alone, pushed the power button in her car and finds the tire pressure warning light illuminated when there is no discernible flattening of tires. Those lights just stress newFNP out! To make matters worse, the frigging Prius has a warning light for everything. Too dirty? Warning light. Country music? Warning light. Bad hair day? Warning light.

And then twenty-nine patients later, she can think of some other things she isn't super fond of.

For instance, a 39-year old male with copious purulent and possibly necrotic nasal discharge. It wasn't that newFNP wasn't fond of him. It was that she experienced more of a visceral olfactory aversion. This poor gentleman smelled like a walking abscess. It was challenging to be in the same room with him. This has been occurring for 6 months. NewFNP posits that he has neither a roommate nor a partner. She hopes that he just has a horrible sinus infection or an abscess and not some type of tumor sloughing off. Truly, the smell. She decided to send him to the emergency room which is when he broke her heart a little bit.

She asked him to call someone to take him as she felt she couldn't justify the ambulance ride. He called El Conejo who agreed to pick her patient up at clinic and take him to the ER. NewFNP asked for his friend's name so she could leave it at the front desk and have the reception staff direct him to the back office. Her patient didn't know his friend's real name -- just El Conejo, the rabbit. He never showed. Is it a shock? This man must be so isolated and lonely that he called someone whose real name he does not know to take him to the emergency room. Ouch. NewFNP fed the patient leftover potluck lunch while he was waiting, gave up on the rabbit and eventually put him in a taxi, a sure-fire guarantee that he'll arrive at the emergency room.

Then she examined a patient who told her that she had an allergy -- to hot water. Just hot water. Does she shower in tepid? What if it's cold out?

But what newFNP is fond of is her new cute and affordable (!!) shoe find: Tsubo. In the quest for fashionable and comfy, newFNP has struck pay dirt.

And now she can relax with her dog, eat lucques olives, drink some wine and watch Project Runway. And of these things, she is quite fond.