It is a hard fact of practice that there will be a time in a clinician's life when he or she will be confronted with an erect penis. NewFNP is not talking about after work; she is referring to on-the-clock erections.
In newFNP's experience, these awkward moments tend to occur with teenage boys who will pitch a tent upon sensing a sideways glance at the penis. There appear to be two schools of thought regarding the acknowledgement this experience. School one says, "Hey, let's all normalize the exam erection for the patient and tell them not to be embarrassed - it happens all the time." School two says fuck that. Sure it's embarrassing for the patient and awkward for the provider, but saying "Oh, it appears that you have an erection. Don't worry, newFNP sees millions of erect penises every day!" might be mortifying. NewFNP belongs to school two. That is why she leaves the genital exam for last on her erection-prone male patients.
In general, newFNP really feels sorry for her male patients who have an itchy trigger penis. She knows that they know that they have an erection at an inappropriate time. She knows that they are uncomfortable and assumes that they might like to sink into a crack in the floor. As such, newFNP simply finishes her exam, states that everything appears normal (as long as everything does appear normal) and invites her patient to get dressed after she excuses herself. She returns to a fully-dressed and fully flaccid patient to conduct any education.
As newFNP stated, she generally feels sympathy for these guys. However, there is an exception to that rule.
NewFNP is, quite frankly, sick of men telling her how they have a girlfriend but have other partners and do not use condoms with any of them. In newFNP's mind, this is wrong on several levels - infidelity, potential exposure to communicable disease, being a slimy bastard. When newFNP's skeevy 32-year old patient told her how difficult it was to control himself when he had a few beers and started dancing with and kissing other women, she thought about rolling her eyes and calling him a prick, but she decided against that intervention. Instead, she educated about risk reduction, mutual monogamy and encouraged him to be a man of his word.
So imagine her suprise when, after being more judgmental than usual, newFNP's pervy patient had an erection during his exam. NewFNP's gag reflex was triggered. Should newFNP have done a gen-probe rather than a urine GC/CT? Who knows. She didn't, mostly because she had no desire to touch the man's genitals after assessing for testicular masses, of which there were none.
Keep it holstered, dude. NewFNP feels no sympathy for womanizing, dishonest, boner-having 32-year olds. Gross. Clearly he was not lying about being unable to control himself.
NewFNP needs hazard pay sometimes. Please, cough your TB in newFNP's direction but keep your erection out of her face. Ugh.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Is that a twinkie in your pocket?
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38 comments:
word up newfnp. on the clock i hate penises and lately, i've been getting my fair share of questions regarding them. from one thirteen year old male:my penis itches after i masturbate - what does this mean? and two: how do you know if it's normal - isn't there a scale.
we actually use a baby scale to weigh the penis.
in grams not ounces
sheesh!
When observations like this are made in medical blogs by medical professional -- you never read anything like this: Maybe we should respect male privacy and modesty. Just maybe we should ask a male if he feels comfortable having a female examine him. If he doesn't we should offer him an alternative. Just maybe. Especially teenagers and young boys. Never (unless in a medical emergency) should they be forced to undergo an intimate exam by a female nurse or doctor. Of course, the reverse should be true for young girls -- indeed, it should be true of anyone at any age. Women have had to suffer with thsi problem for decades. But now more women are entering medicine, female patients are better accommodated. But with the nursing profession (as well as that of medical technicians) dominated by women, men are now often forced to undergo intimate care without choice. I day "forced" because many men will not express their feelings about this. They'll just take it, while feeling embarrassed, even humiliated. If a patient can't be accommodated for a good reason, explain that to him/her. Communicate. Look patients in the eye. Pay attention to patient feelings. Put yourself in their shoes (or gowns). Too often, situations like this are about the accommodating the "system," or about the feelings and sensibilities of the medical professional. It's about time they started paying attending to the feelings of the patients.
Yup, I agree. I have heard too many stories from other guys about how they feel like they were treated like an animal or feel violated pertaining to genital exam's / proceedures. They don't seem want to express it in the office. I suppose one could compare it to rape.. just one that doesn't seem as bad because it is accepted by society. Too bad the medical field couldn't adopt proceedures that could be more respectful as a default to patients. Kinda sad so many people have to feel violated to get medical treatment.
at least yoiu are fortunate enough not to have seen
some pervert who not only insists on showing
you his erection but also on 'making a mess'
with it.
This female examiner should be ashamed of threatening to use an outdated, sharp, painful urethra-ripping device because she felt the male was 'slimy.' Why was this female examiner alone in the room? Before she cuts his urethra, she needs to quit the field and go into hate therapy.
It is very sad to read this and to think that there are professional medical personnel that think this way. Going into this field you should have known you were going to have to deal with penises. I would hope to think you would know enough about the male body that you cannot control an erection, and sometimes they come for no reason.
Would it be so acceptable for a male nurse to express his disgust after he noticed his patient's nips got hard after a breast exam?
You're talking about a potential involuntary reaction for any man under 60. It's like getting disgusted if while taking his pulse you notice his heart begins to race.
It's normal for a 13 year old boy to be sexually curious and going to a health care worker for answers should be applauded.
Please show some maturity, class and professionalism.
I hope I never encounter you for a testicular ultrasound.
Your post indicates that you are immature and unprofessional.
Your license to practice should be revoked.
All female nurses are perverts and unprofessional
Some serious penis hating lesbian.
Let the nurse strip to conduct the exam and see how the bitch feels!
Most genital exams are actually unnecessary. Look at a very important article about how breast / genital exams are unnecessary for sports physicals. We need to end unnecessary genital exams. Think about the emotional trauma many teenagers experience from genital exams.
I have had the same nurse practisioner do complete physicals on me for 3 yrs. now. As part of the exam she examines my testicles, penis and uretha. I like that she is so thorough and have told her so. Only once did I become erect and we both laughed it off. She is a true professional.
I know this is an old thread, but perhaps you might like an older man's perspective on this.
I have three female ARNP's in my "family" of health-care providers, and two of the three are urologists...VA urologists. All three providers have examined me, and one has several times. They have been thoroughly professional, caring and compassionate. Both urologists have worked with me to find workable solutions to my erectile dysfunction, because my sexual health is a vital part of my overall health. I am not ashamed or embarrassed about being examined by any of them, or talking about my sexual-health problems.
I applaud those ladies who have gotten extra training and extra certifications so they can help men with their urology problems.
Any female health-care provider who has a problem with dealing with men and their sexual equipment either needs to get out of the field, or go into gynecology.
Seems like you're in the wrong profession if you can't deal with examining a man's penis during a physical. Do you have your vagina examined when you go for a physical? Look for a new job.
I have had a complete examination including prostate and genitals by a female nurse practitioner who just happened to be very beautiful. As soon as I saw her enter the room, I was afraid of what was coming! Everything fine until she pushed back the foreskin for a look! I was so embarrassed, it was full on erect! She stopped what she was doing and had no other reaction. She did not seem to get embarrassed and acted as if nothing happened. VERY smart nurse! Later I was talking to a close friend who is also a RN in the same office and she told me that is a daily happening in a urologist office and all nurses are trained to simply ignore it and never speak about it to the patient. Ladies should always keep in mind that men DO NOT and cannot control when they become erect.
I am a Vietnam veteran and go to the veterans hospitals or "health care".
If a female doctor or nurse wants to "Examine" your genitals say NO THANK YOU I'll have the male doctor do it.
I guaranty you he'll do it in 1/10th the time.
Female nurses take every sexual advantage of boys, adolescent boys, and men that they can.
I have had nurses walk in and out of the male dressing room many, many times to tell me things that they could tell me outside the dressing room.
After a cystoscopy (cysto)& fulguration 12 nurses pulled up my gown to above my stomach and pulled my blanket down to below my feet while I was still unconscious after the procedure. They lifted my genitals up from between my legs, squeezed my thighs together and placed my tentacles on top of my thighs and placed my penis over my left thigh in a public hallway where any one getting on or off the 4 main elevators or walking up and don the wide corridor could see me.
One of the nurses who is very nice and took me to and from a colonoscopy told me that they took turns with me but she didn't go out into the hallway where they stripped me.
I could feel them touching me and when I was awake enough to lift my head and looked down upon myself the "nurse" that was standing at my left, belly up to the gurney I was on said, "Let me cover you up to keep you warm" and pulled the blanket up from below my feet to my chest. That WAS the blanket that covering me when I left the Operating Room.
Then why did they REMOVE my blanket and pull up my gown?
Professionalism?
NO,PERVERSION.
If male doctors & nurses did to females what female doctors & nurses do to men they would be in jail and on the sex offender list.
I think the embarrassing part is that a person goes through all of the training and education to become a medical "professional" and is still uncomfortable doing her job. By the time you become a NP you should probably know that an erection may not be a voluntary response. Should the patient also become embarrassed if they sneeze? Don't be embarrassed by your patient, overcome your issues or find another line of work where the given fact of the profession's surroundings don't hold you back from reaching your maximum potential. Either way, no need to be embarrassed or uncomfortable. BTW, a patient can tell when you lack confidence in your own abilities. Good luck!
All students submit for physical before participating in sports activities. I provide this service at my sons high school. The boys strip and wait in line for weighing measuring blood pressure etc... last being check for hernia and prostate exam. I suppose it's normal for the boys to be erect for most of the process as I and my assistants are women. However I was surprised at their reaction to the prostate exam. They all erupted in orgasm as I gently inserted my lubed latex finger while my assistants held them up... some knees buckled and swooning was the norm. I am curious how the girls will hold up to through gyno exams. Clitoris erections will be tested for endurance.
Liar
absurd that at the urology practice I got to where there are about 28 urologists--3 of them female-- ONLY FEMALE NURSES work with ED patients....Imagine a male LACTATION COACH...There have to be men who can do these procedures for patients who prefer same gender health care providers...
My nurse practitioner is 40 years old and has been doing physicals for about 10 years. I've been going to her for 4 years now.She asked if I would mind if a nursing student observed how she did a male physical the last time. I replied not at all so when I had undressed she came in with a young girl of about 20. She did a complete head to toe including the testicle exam and prostrate. She usually examines them with me laying down first and then standing as well. At that time she will also roll back my foreskin and examine the glans. I have never become erect with her before but possibly because of the younger lady there I became semi-hard. She continued with the exam joking that she didn't have to ask me now if I was having any problem getting erect and explained to the student that men would occasionally get erect when being examined.She is very professional and you can tell she enjoys her Job as well. The student got quite a lesson that day.
how you solve this situation is for school districts to hire Male doctors for boys sports physicals. NOT female NPs. Since Girls never have to expose any body parts during a school physical, male doctors could be used. Most girls go the their gyno anyway, however boys DO have to exposed their genitals. Why in the sam hell would you do an embarrassing exam like that and FORCE a male student to undergo having to expose himself to a female NP anad a female nurse? It would NEVER be pressed upon a female student to undergo a pap or breast exam by 2 males, and why should a boy have to undergo 2 females staring at him. The medical world needs a catch up for sure.
Caca tastes better than pussy
How many men do you know that do women's mammograms?
Not many if any at all.
Women are given a CHOICE, men are not.
That is why many men die at a younger age these days.
They'd rather get sick & possibly die before giving up their dignity so some females can have their jollies at their expense.
Until our criminal justice system starts handing down proper long prison sentences to medical personnel who violate their patients, the medical establishment, will not stop.
Rules that will force the medical community as a whole to respect a males privacy and maintain his dignity at all times (like they already do with women), must come down from the agencies that govern the medical community.
These rules must be iron clad with NO loopholes. Violation of these rules must be met swiftly and with strong penalties to the institution and the employee(s) that violate the rules.
Until this happens, patients everywhere (like the woman & gentleman in NY recently that had their privates pictured & filmed by a female nurse & sent to hospital employees to enjoy), will continue to be at risk.
An example of the most BASIC rule that should be in place EVERYWHERE is,
ALL intimate tests and or procedures should only be allowed to be done in the presence of and by a same gender caregiver unless the patient or guardian themselves specifically requests opposite gender care in writing.
If same gender care is not available they should let the patient know as soon as possible so they can decide if they want to move forward or go to another location.
That should be a GOLD standard rule throughout the entire US healthcare system no questions asked.
If the institutions start seeing their revenue streams drying up and they realize its because they are NOT serving the NEEDS of the patient, they might step back & give patient dignity another look before losing even more money.
Regards,
NTT
You are a Dike. The blog explains everything. Bet you would love to work in a women's prison
Sick bitch
Yes, women are given a choice. How many male doctors do pelvic exams on women--very, very few. Woman are given a choice. Men are not given that choice--every medical office should have a male NP. I was the victim of a sexual assault by a female nurse. I complained to the doctor and she admitted it and apologized. I wish I had made a bigger case about it--female nurses get away with a lot.
Guys:
Next time you need to have an intimate procedure or test and "all they have is a female and her female chaperone" to do the test, ask her beforehand.
If she needed a pelvic exam or mammogram, would she go forward with the procedure/test knowing a male with a male chaperone were going to do the testing?
When she says no way, you reply now you know how I feel about having a female doing my test.
Then you cancel & call around until you find a facility that has men on staff available to do your testing.
When facilities start getting cancellations from enough men, they will start ask, why then maybe make some staff adjustments.
Until and unless men open their mouths & start saying enough is enough, we want same gender care, the medical industry will not change.
Also when any doctor or nurse abuses a patient in any way, the patient should have them charged & the prosecutor should be told they must serve jail time. NO community service and NO probation.
If enough medical personnel are caught & do time, they will re-think what they are doing & human resources will do deeper background checks on staff.
Regards,
NTT
That's quite an accusation there. Female nurses are not perverts and certainly do not take "take every sexual advantage of boys, adolescent boys, and men that they can." Maybe you just need to go to a different practice. I've only had a female doctor examine my genitals one time, and she was reluctant. It was clearly her least favorite part of her job. Every other genital exam was done by a man, and I can't say I care who does it as long as they're professional, which every doctor and nurse has been.
If you're receiving random and unnecessary genital exams, get a new doctor. Every single one I've received was checking for cancer, abnormalities or potential nerve damage. Only urologists have touched or directly examined my penis. It's mostly the testes they worry about. Unless you're there for sexual problems.
Yes men are not given a choice. if we called the nurses bitch or whores they will get angry, but how they act is similar ile those bitches.
What if those nurses themselves get checked by several male doctors or nurses. how they feel when male nurses get their fingers in their ugly vaginas. What if those hundreds of female students experience this.
They will tell the male doctors take advantage.
I don't believe in professionalism, bcoz those female nurses really enjoy what they do at touching males penises. that is why they still do the jobs. Deep inside they also get horny.
Sorry I do not respect Female nurses looking and touching male penises. You are similar to bitches and whores. NO exception
I had an exam and the NP asked if some students could observe, my gown was pulled to the side and the young female was laughing so hard as to make gun. I asked her age. She was doing something called , shadowing. She was high school age. I asked the doctors could I show my cock to their daughters also. Oh you would criminally charge me. Well, we told you their students. Bull you know i yhought medical not high school students. How you like my high school son watching your wife get a pap smear? Yes, men are treated differently. I will never volunteer and tell others not to as well. Please ask ,What school, if ever you are proposition this.
once a femsle nurse gave pre surgery exam. she unnessarily asked me to remove my panty
but she forcibly removed my under pants and started rubbing my penis which made me cum profusely. that time i was only 15 years old
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reading this I have to wonder
it seems that every time I get this one particular NP, and her PA
she examines my testes, and in doing so keeps moving my penis around until it is hard
it is just this particular woman, not the others in the Practice
she also is the only one to swab the end
Anonymous
If she makes you feel uncomfortable, ask for make caregivers for private area exams.
Things will never change unless men start speaking up.
I have given a lot of careful thought to this
the Practice has only a male doctor
nurses do most of the day-to-day stuff
and
I really have no desire to have some guy touch my junk
I am sooo ok with women
that said, I think this dyke just enjoys getting guys hard
and, the Assistant doesn't seem to mind watching either
I am going to switch Practices
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