Saturday, March 26, 2011

And swallow

The Friday before newFNP's grandma died, newFNP was scheduled to see a GI specialist to find out just what in the hell is up with her stupid esophageal pain. Of course, she cancelled that appointment and rescheduled it for yesterday.

NewFNP's handsome, young and friendly gastroenterologist didn't think that newFNP is having diffuse esophageal spasms at all. No, in fact, he thought that she is having eosinophilic esophagitis (EE).

Fucking allergies! This one newFNP blames completely on attending fancy grad school on the opposite coast from whence she hails and where she developed mother-effing food allergies.

Dr. Handsome thoughtfully wrote down a list of foods that commonly trigger EE: corn; gluten; dairy; shellfish; peanuts; and soy. Great. It's like the most anti-patriotic elimination diet ever! No corn? No wheat? No dairy? What's next? No Pledge of Allegiance? And no soy? How is newFNP going to get her salad protein??

Stating that he wasn't entirely certain, Dr. H offered to provide newFNP with an esophagogastroduodenoscopy -- biopsies and all -- to find out just what is the damned problem.

Now, newFNP generally doesn't let a guy put his tube down her throat at their second meeting, but for this guy, newFNP is going to make an exception.